Something I wrote on account of me being bored

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Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by kisukeFan_4337 on Mon May 30, 2011 11:05 am

Just read it already.


----(I have no idea why I wrote this...)(Oh, and should the possessive pronouns for Vincent be “he” or “she”…? I guess “she”, but…whatever. The same goes for Blue.)

Vincent walked down the cobblestone road calmly. He wanted to eat a carrot, though he couldn't seem to figure out why. Suddenly, he felt a finger tap his shoulder.
Mr. Valentine turned around to see a man with silver hair and read eyes that were clearly not googley eyes.
"My name is Senthose Rasheverek. All roads will eventually lead to Bastardland."
"Even this one?"
"Yup. Also...the smell of blood seems to be emitting from...," Senthose pointed his finger at the area between Vincent's legs, "...there," he finished.
"Oh shit."
"Hmm?"
"I forgot about that. Please excuse me," and Vincent ran away, the gap between his legs shut tightly.
"Bye-bye!" Senthose turned around and gasped.
A masked man stood in front of him, holding a bag that said the word "douche" on it in black marker. At least, that's what Senthose thought it was.
"Who the f-"
"I...am..."
Senthose's ears began to bleed as he took in the man's disgusting, idiotic voice.
The masked man took a deep breath, "...ByakuyaMayuri."
Senthose covered his ears, then looked at the bag in the idiot's hand again. He grabbed it and put it on ByakuyaMayuri's head. "Here. This suits you."
"Oh, really? Thanks for the fashion tip, nobody ever gives me any of those."
"They wouldn't even give you a Q-Tip," Senthose murmured, walking away and not realizing how retarded that last line was.
Meanwhile....
Vincent Valentine had done his feminine maintenance, and was now happily eating a carrot that he found in the sink of the bathroom (who knows how it got there) of a restaurant where he had done his feminine maintenance. (note the sentence structure)
"Hey, is your name Valentine?" a man sitting on a chair near the table behind Vincent spoke.
"No, it's not."
The man's white hair hung low over his face. He poured himself a drink. Vincent's mother had never let him drink alcohol...that is, if he had a mother. He couldn't quite remember at the moment.
"I knew it!" the drinking man exclaimed.
"Knew what?"
"That your name was Valentine."
"Dammit, I told you, you bitch, it's NOT!"
"I know."
"Huh?" Vincent watched the man, who was now getting up.
"I knew your name wasn't Valentine," the white haired man said, sneering. His voice sent off dark vibes that Vincent discovered were attracting him.
"I-It's Vincent!"
"I KNEW IT! I'M A FRICKIN' MIND READER!!" the man was hooting now, as though he had just finished acting a part in a movie and was trying to get out of his role.
"No, I just-"
"My name's Sephiroth," the white haired man said, putting both hands on his chair.
"Uh-huh. And I think you know me well enough."
"Vincent. I think I l-"
The door opened, and a man wearing a bag that said "douche" in permanent marker-or, that's what everyone thought it was, at least-stepped in, walking like a fag, however that's done. (I wouldn't know, as I've never done it nor seen it, and neither do I ever want to.)
He walked around, waving his arms in the air in front of him like a blind fag, and thought that what he was putting his ass on was a chair, when it was indeed Vincent's lap.
"What the hell? A fag? Wearing a bag that says 'douche'? Sitting in MY lap?" Mr. Valentine was a somewhat slow thinker.
"Are you honored?" and then Vincent's ears began to hurt.
"My name is ByakuyaMayuri, and I am here with a mission: to be a fag and get you killed for it."
"Don't you take my girl from me, you bastard!" Sephiroth, being an idiot and not realizing that he would end up hurting his "girl" as well, threw the chair at BM.
The chair smashed to pieces, but BM sat there in Vincent's lap.
"I am protected by the power of the mods," BM explained (in a retarded tone).
"Shit!" Sephiroth stamped his foot, frustrated. He didn't know what else to do; after all, this wasn't Final Fantasy.
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha," BM laughed faggily(I don’t even think that’s a real word), "The good guys always win, and in this case, the good guy is ME!"
Suddenly, the door burst open, and the unresponsive restaurant population-which was actually a small population, plus Sephiroth, BM, and Vincent-watched the group of people that entered with wide eyes.
The group consisted of our dear friend, Senthose Rasheverek, a man with reddish-brown hair, and a girl wearing a long crimson and gold scarf, large black spectacles and a black coat and black pants. She had moppy black hair and big green eyes.
"Who the hell are you new people?" Vincent began, apparently not minding the fag sitting on his lap. Then he realized, "Hey, I know you. You're Senthose Rasheverek! And these must be your bitches."
"Not quite," Senthose began by introducing the red haired man. "This is Genesis."
"I used to play that when I was a kid," Sephiroth remarked, stroking his chin, which didn't have any hair on it.
"No, you retard, you fight him in an epic cutscene," Senthose corrected.
"Me? No, I think you got the wrong Sephiroth."
"How many guys are there with that kind of epic name?" Vincent began.
"As many guys as there are named Vincent Valentine, I suppose," Sephiroth replied, taking a swig of his cheap beer.
Senthose continued with the introductions. "This is Potter."
"Do you make pots?" way to ask another retarded question, BM.
"I watch Ron take a shower," she replied proudly.
"And who sent you here?" BM began.
"For the Dark Lord's sake, stop talking, you're killing me!" Sephiroth yelled.
"What is this, some kind of interrogation?" Senthose began.
"I just wanna know," BM said, and then Sephiroth punched him, and it actually hit BM this time, because he was reaching the limit of fagginess.
"You're gonna get banned," BM whispered, obviously scared now, just like a retard.
"Vlad sent us," Senthose answered.
"Vlad who?"(this was Sephiroth, NOT BM, thank the Dark Lord)
The three-Senthose, Genesis, and Potter looked at each other. "Vlad the Implier."
"Is he hawt?" was Vincent's reaction.
"There is something wrong with you, man," Genesis pointed out the obvious.
"Actually, there's something wrong with everyone here," a figure dressed completely in black pushed through the three that were standing at the door.
"Not me, right?" Senthose seemed to have some kind of respect for this person.
The one in the coat smiled, brown eyes gleaming from underneath her black fedora. She patted Senthose on the back. "You are one of a kind, that's for sure. And something else: there is something wrong with everyone here, but there is a fag in here as well," she pointed at BM.
"That's it," BM whined faggily, "You're gonna get BANNED!!!"
Sephiroth laughed coldly. "From what, life? This isn't a forum where certain rules are applied unfairly, and where people get banned for not calling someone a fag, but for saying that they are talking like a fag."
"Where the eff did you get that?" Vincent wondered.
"I don't know, but who cares? It's not a place like that," Sephiroth slammed his fist on the wooden table as the window shattered and glass flew everywhere, miraculously not hurting anyone, except for the occasional cuts that make the characters look cool in the eyes of fangirls and fanboys.
"What the hell was that?!" Vincent yelled, then looked down at his lap to see that the fag was gone. He was lying on his back on the floor like a retarded fish who follows the religion known as Aizenism.
"You can call me Blue," a voice sneered, and everyone looked up to see a man with long black hair that made him look like a girl sitting on the wooden table where Sephiroth had left his cheap beer. He took a sip out of it gracefully, as one would expect of a senior moderator, not spilling a single drop on his long white kimono. Vincent then noticed that Blue had a sword strapped to his back, and even he knew that swords were lethal. After all, he IS a character from Final Fantasy, so therefore he must know how a sword works.
“Holy shit, this guy’s armed!!” Vincent yelled, crawling towards Sephiroth and getting glass to ruin his gloves and hands as he went there.
“Huh? You mean this?” Blue pointed at the sword.
“Hell yeah, that.”
“That was my grandfather’s. I carry it around ‘cause it makes me look cool. Like, authority, y’know?”
“Let’s cut this guy’s head off,” Senthose began.
“Yeah,” the girl in the black coat handed Senthose a gun. “Do it.”
“With a GUN?” Senthose almost fell for it, “What, are you retarded?”
“Just checking to make sure you ain’t.”
“Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Blue jumped off the table and pulled a sparkly stick out of his pocket. “I have to ban you first.”
“That’s what you get!” BM giggled like a fag. A creepy fag, actually.
“You know what?” Sephiroth stood up and looked at Blue. “Ban me. Let’s see what you can do.”
Blue danced around, looking very much like a girl, and then waved the wand like a magical fairy princess from a little girl’s bedtime story. “La la la la laaaaa….” And then tapped the wand on Sephiroth’s head.
“What? That’s it?” and then Sephiroth blew up, blood and organs spraying everywhere, ruining Blue’s wonderfully white clothes.
“Holy shit, he blew up!” was an unnecessary response from Vincent.
“He got banned,” BM sounded as faggy as ever, except maybe this time with a bit of blood in his mouth.
And then he felt a hand on his throat.
“Shut the hell up, you faggy son of a fag,” the girl in the black snarled-at least, that’s what she thought she was doing, snarling, “You and that bitch Blue are going to die.”
At this point, it was clear to the group that the word “fag” and the like, such as “faggily”, “faggishly” and the phrase “like a fag” had been very much overused, and they decided to add a bit more variety to their choice of words and insults.
The girl tightened her grip on BM’s throat when suddenly she got f***ing kicked in the c**t by Blue, who had somehow become invisible. She had let go of BM, unfortunately yet obviously.
“Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuckfuckfuck!” was the girl’s (maybe not so) obvious reaction.
“Don’t make me ban you, lady,” he said as he reappeared. Suddenly, his head flew off, and a lovely fountain of blood blasted out, much of it hitting the ceiling.
“Fuck…” once more, before hearing a malicious laugh.
Suddenly, a bottle of wine began levitating. It floated over to the table where Blue once sat, and then opened and poured itself, revealing a figure that looked very familiar.
“Holy Feral Chaos, it’s Sephiroth!” Vincent had to yell as he picked the larger shards of glass out of his hands.
“Would it kill you to shut up for once?” this being Genesis, and this quote being his second actual line in this story.
“I have…circumstances,” Vincent blurted, then quickly said, “Now leave me alone.”
“Ha! I cloned myself in anticipation of this event!” a wine covered Sephiroth pranced throughout the room, and then set his eyes on the girl in the black coat and pranced towards her.
“I’m killing him,” she said (referring to BM), before Sephiroth had a chance to say anything else.
“Sure, sure, that’s not what I wanted to say,” Sephiroth murmured, then grabbed the girl by her shoulders.
“I wanted to say I love—“
“HEY! I thought I was your girl!” Vincent screamed.
“No, I changed my mind.”
“Excuse me,” the girl broke free and began to choke the helpless and retarded ByakuyaMayuri.
“No, no, please don’t!” BM cried (dare I say, “faggily”?), “I’ll give you spring onions!”
“Who would want those?” Potter smiled, running up to BM and staring at him.
An “I would….” escaped Mr. Valentine, and then he clasped his mouth shut and noticed heads turning to look at him.
“No deal,” and then there was a loud cracking sound as BM’s eyes rolled back and blood dribbled out of his mouth.
Then Dante randomly jumped into the restaurant through the window and shot him several times, making his face and body look like Swiss cheese.
“You didn’t have to do that,” said Vincent.
“Yes we did,” this was Senthose, “He was a fag.”
“Say that again and I’ll leave you looking like that guy,” Dante gestured toward BM.
Senthose decided that he should risk it. (Feel free to skip this line and read from “He was a…”) After all, he wasn’t Senthose.
“He was a fag fag faggity fag fagfagfag. A retard, a bitchy bastard of a prick—“
And then there was more blood.
“You got what you deserved, Senthose,” Dante smirked.
*(From this point onwards, everything will be (possibly even more) pointless than before. Feel free to jump over this area to the next * sign…though I don’t recommend you do that.)
“But I’m not Senthose…you are,” and the Swiss cheese Senthose revealed himself to be Dante, and vice versa.
“Holy shit, how the hell did this happen?” Dante (the once Senthose Rasheverek) groaned.
Senthose (the once Dante) pulled off his skin and revealed a man with brown eyes and slicked back light brown hair. A strand of his hair hung in front of his face, and his smile was quite smug.
“Who the fuckity fuck are you?” this coming from Potter, who was straightening her glasses to make sure that is was just the pills that she’d taken last night that were making her hallucinate.
“I’m the one who will hand your ass over to you in a silver platter.”
The man pulled a sword out of nowhere (or maybe the inattentive characters failed to see where he pulled it out of) and sliced Potter’s ass off. She ran around (no, wait, she couldn’t do that, on account of her not having an ass) She fell to the floor and screamed and bled miserably while the man picked it (“it” being her ass) up and put it on a silver platter. He bent down and left the platter near her.
“What kind of an asshole are you?” Genesis asked the ass-slicer.
“The kind of asshole whose greatest skill is to make shit up in a split second and act as though he planned the shit himself.”
“That’s a remarkable talent you have,” Vincent remarked honestly, and then noticed Sephiroth (whose invisibility spell or potion-you choose-had worn off) staring at him (or her) with wide eyes.
“Don’t look at me, you rat,” Mr. (or is it “Ms.”?) Valentine snarled.
“You’re a douchebag,” spilled out of Sephiroth.
A sarcastic “Thank you,” dripped out from between Vincent’s lips.
“Genesis, glue her butt back on,” groaned the girl in black, whose name you still don’t know.
“Why me? I don’t wanna touch her ass,” he looked at the girl (in black) with a neutral expression on his face, “Come on, Nekhas, why don’t you do it?” and now you know her name, “You could put her back together without even touching her.”
“Let’s not go there,” was Nekhas’ reply.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt your lovely conversation but I just couldn’t help myself,” Vincent said, smiling and interrupting, “How exactly do you do that?”
Nekhas pulled off her hat and revealed jaw length brown hair. She made a face at Vincent and said, “It’s maaaagic.”
“But…there’s no such thing as magic, right?” and this coming from a Final Fantasy character. For shame.
(Ignoring Vincent) “You know what? If you don’t do this—“
“I’ll slice your ass off, too,” finished Ass-Slicer.
Genesis’ face held an expression of mock horror (Note I said “mock”. M-O-C-K.) , “Okay, that’s just not fair. You’ve got to get yourself a different hobby. Something that has to do with slicing…but not asses.”
“Can you slice heads?” Vincent begins.
“Don’t you see? I planned all of this. I brought you all here and got rid of a fag and an ugly guy so that I could slice your asses off.”
“You’re really good at this making stuff up,” remarked Sephiroth, smiling as he said it.
“Why, thank you.”
“Wait, if this wasn’t Senthose, then who is?” Genesis noticed a bit too late, his eyes on Swiss cheese Dante.
“I know where he is,” Nekhas pulled her gloves off and revealed a red, bloody design on the back of her left hand. There was a star and a few words in a foreign language that people like you and Vincent would not understand written around the circle. The blood that it been done with had dried, and it was quite messy-looking. She did some kind of weird gesture to Potter’s ass, and it began to float. Slowly, it put itself back where it once belonged – on the unconscious Potter’s backside, looking as though it had never been separated.
“Wow, it really IS magic!” Vincent moaned in a disgusting sounding way.



*
…And that’s when Ashley got sick and tired of writing this bullshit and decided to stop. For now, anyway. I have better things to do than entertain a group of assholes and fucking trouts who eat roadkill.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by HarleyThomas on Mon May 30, 2011 12:19 pm

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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by Taegan on Mon May 30, 2011 2:07 pm

Stopped reading when I saw Senthose's name.

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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by Neo Bahamut on Mon May 30, 2011 8:29 pm

Oddly enough, so did I.

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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by kisukeFan_4337 on Tue May 31, 2011 12:59 pm

Good.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by HarleyThomas on Tue May 31, 2011 2:39 pm

And I didn't read a word of it.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by Script-Z on Tue May 31, 2011 6:51 pm

I got to 'Just read it already' before stopping. After reading the comments I'm glad I did.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by Loki on Wed Jun 01, 2011 6:01 am

Y'all are dicks.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by kisukeFan_4337 on Wed Jun 01, 2011 10:18 am

Agreed, my friend. Here, this is way better.

----(I have no idea why I wrote this...)(Oh, and should the possessive pronouns for Vincent be “he” or “she”…? I guess “she”, but…whatever. The same goes for Blue.)

Vincent walked down the cobblestone road calmly. He wanted to eat a carrot, though he couldn't seem to figure out why. Suddenly, he felt a finger tap his shoulder.
Mr. Valentine turned around to see a man with silver hair and read eyes that were clearly not googley eyes.
"My name is Rob Alrowe. All roads will eventually lead to Bastardland."
"Even this one?"
"Yup. Also...the smell of blood seems to be emitting from...," Rob pointed his finger at the area between Vincent's legs, "...there," he finished.
"Oh shit."
"Hmm?"
"I forgot about that. Please excuse me," and Vincent ran away, the gap between his legs shut tightly.
"Bye-bye!" Rob turned around and gasped.
A masked man stood in front of him, holding a bag that said the word "douche" on it in black marker. At least, that's what Rob thought it was.
"Who the f-"
"I...am..."
Rob's ears began to bleed as he took in the man's disgusting, idiotic voice.
The masked man took a deep breath, "...ByakuyaMayuri."
Rob covered his ears, then looked at the bag in the idiot's hand again. He grabbed it and put it on ByakuyaMayuri's head. "Here. This suits you."
"Oh, really? Thanks for the fashion tip, nobody ever gives me any of those."
"They wouldn't even give you a Q-Tip," Rob murmured, walking away and not realizing how retarded that last line was.
Meanwhile....
Vincent Valentine had done his feminine maintenance, and was now happily eating a carrot that he found in the sink of the bathroom (who knows how it got there) of a restaurant where he had done his feminine maintenance. (note the sentence structure)
"Hey, is your name Valentine?" a man sitting on a chair near the table behind Vincent spoke.
"No, it's not."
The man's white hair hung low over his face. He poured himself a drink. Vincent's mother had never let him drink alcohol...that is, if he had a mother. He couldn't quite remember at the moment.
"I knew it!" the drinking man exclaimed.
"Knew what?"
"That your name was Valentine."
"Dammit, I told you, you bitch, it's NOT!"
"I know."
"Huh?" Vincent watched the man, who was now getting up.
"I knew your name wasn't Valentine," the white haired man said, sneering. His voice sent off dark vibes that Vincent discovered were attracting him.
"I-It's Vincent!"
"I KNEW IT! I'M A FRICKIN' MIND READER!!" the man was hooting now, as though he had just finished acting a part in a movie and was trying to get out of his role.
"No, I just-"
"My name's Sephiroth," the white haired man said, putting both hands on his chair.
"Uh-huh. And I think you know me well enough."
"Vincent. I think I l-"
The door opened, and a man wearing a bag that said "douche" in permanent marker-or, that's what everyone thought it was, at least-stepped in, walking like a fag, however that's done. (I wouldn't know, as I've never done it nor seen it, and neither do I ever want to.)
He walked around, waving his arms in the air in front of him like a blind fag, and thought that what he was putting his ass on was a chair, when it was indeed Vincent's lap.
"What the hell? A fag? Wearing a bag that says 'douche'? Sitting in MY lap?" Mr. Valentine was a somewhat slow thinker.
"Are you honored?" and then Vincent's ears began to hurt.
"My name is ByakuyaMayuri, and I am here with a mission: to be a fag and get you killed for it."
"Don't you take my girl from me, you bastard!" Sephiroth, being an idiot and not realizing that he would end up hurting his "girl" as well, threw the chair at BM.
The chair smashed to pieces, but BM sat there in Vincent's lap.
"I am protected by the power of the mods," BM explained (in a retarded tone).
"Shit!" Sephiroth stamped his foot, frustrated. He didn't know what else to do; after all, this wasn't Final Fantasy.
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha," BM laughed faggily(I don’t even think that’s a real word), "The good guys always win, and in this case, the good guy is ME!"
Suddenly, the door burst open, and the unresponsive restaurant population-which was actually a small population, plus Sephiroth, BM, and Vincent-watched the group of people that entered with wide eyes.
The group consisted of our dear friend, Rob Alrowe, a man with reddish-brown hair, and a girl wearing a long crimson and gold scarf, large black spectacles and a black coat and black pants. She had moppy black hair and big green eyes.
"Who the hell are you new people?" Vincent began, apparently not minding the fag sitting on his lap. Then he realized, "Hey, I know you. You're Rob Alrowe! And these must be your bitches."
"Not quite," Rob began by introducing the red haired man. "This is Genesis."
"I used to play that when I was a kid," Sephiroth remarked, stroking his chin, which didn't have any hair on it.
"No, you retard, you fight him in an epic cutscene," Rob corrected.
"Me? No, I think you got the wrong Sephiroth."
"How many guys are there with that kind of epic name?" Vincent began.
"As many guys as there are named Vincent Valentine, I suppose," Sephiroth replied, taking a swig of his cheap beer.
Rob continued with the introductions. "This is Potter."
"Do you make pots?" way to ask another retarded question, BM.
"I watch Ron take a shower," she replied proudly.
"And who sent you here?" BM began.
"For the Dark Lord's sake, stop talking, you're killing me!" Sephiroth yelled.
"What is this, some kind of interrogation?" Rob began.
"I just wanna know," BM said, and then Sephiroth punched him, and it actually hit BM this time, because he was reaching the limit of fagginess.
"You're gonna get banned," BM whispered, obviously scared now, just like a retard.
"Vlad sent us," Rob answered.
"Vlad who?"(this was Sephiroth, NOT BM, thank the Dark Lord)
The three-Rob, Genesis, and Potter looked at each other. "Vlad the Implier."
"Is he hawt?" was Vincent's reaction.
"There is something wrong with you, man," Genesis pointed out the obvious.
"Actually, there's something wrong with everyone here," a figure dressed completely in black pushed through the three that were standing at the door.
"Not me, right?" Rob seemed to have some kind of respect for this person.
The one in the coat smiled, brown eyes gleaming from underneath her black fedora. She patted Rob on the back. "You are one of a kind, that's for sure. And something else: there is something wrong with everyone here, but there is a fag in here as well," she pointed at BM.
"That's it," BM whined faggily, "You're gonna get BANNED!!!"
Sephiroth laughed coldly. "From what, life? This isn't a forum where certain rules are applied unfairly, and where people get banned for not calling someone a fag, but for saying that they are talking like a fag."
"Where the eff did you get that?" Vincent wondered.
"I don't know, but who cares? It's not a place like that," Sephiroth slammed his fist on the wooden table as the window shattered and glass flew everywhere, miraculously not hurting anyone, except for the occasional cuts that make the characters look cool in the eyes of fangirls and fanboys.
"What the hell was that?!" Vincent yelled, then looked down at his lap to see that the fag was gone. He was lying on his back on the floor like a retarded fish who follows the religion known as Aizenism.
"You can call me Blue," a voice sneered, and everyone looked up to see a man with long black hair that made him look like a girl sitting on the wooden table where Sephiroth had left his cheap beer. He took a sip out of it gracefully, as one would expect of a senior moderator, not spilling a single drop on his long white kimono. Vincent then noticed that Blue had a sword strapped to his back, and even he knew that swords were lethal. After all, he IS a character from Final Fantasy, so therefore he must know how a sword works.
“Holy shit, this guy’s armed!!” Vincent yelled, crawling towards Sephiroth and getting glass to ruin his gloves and hands as he went there.
“Huh? You mean this?” Blue pointed at the sword.
“Hell yeah, that.”
“That was my grandfather’s. I carry it around ‘cause it makes me look cool. Like, authority, y’know?”
“Let’s cut this guy’s head off,” Rob began.
“Yeah,” the girl in the black coat handed Rob a gun. “Do it.”
“With a GUN?” Rob almost fell for it, “What, are you retarded?”
“Just checking to make sure you ain’t.”
“Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Blue jumped off the table and pulled a sparkly stick out of his pocket. “I have to ban you first.”
“That’s what you get!” BM giggled like a fag. A creepy fag, actually.
“You know what?” Sephiroth stood up and looked at Blue. “Ban me. Let’s see what you can do.”
Blue danced around, looking very much like a girl, and then waved the wand like a magical fairy princess from a little girl’s bedtime story. “La la la la laaaaa….” And then tapped the wand on Sephiroth’s head.
“What? That’s it?” and then Sephiroth blew up, blood and organs spraying everywhere, ruining Blue’s wonderfully white clothes.
“Holy shit, he blew up!” was an unnecessary response from Vincent.
“He got banned,” BM sounded as faggy as ever, except maybe this time with a bit of blood in his mouth.
And then he felt a hand on his throat.
“Shut the hell up, you faggy son of a fag,” the girl in the black snarled-at least, that’s what she thought she was doing, snarling, “You and that bitch Blue are going to die.”
At this point, it was clear to the group that the word “fag” and the like, such as “faggily”, “faggishly” and the phrase “like a fag” had been very much overused, and they decided to add a bit more variety to their choice of words and insults.
The girl tightened her grip on BM’s throat when suddenly she got f***ing kicked in the c**t by Blue, who had somehow become invisible. She had let go of BM, unfortunately yet obviously.
“Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuckfuckfuck!” was the girl’s (maybe not so) obvious reaction.
“Don’t make me ban you, lady,” he said as he reappeared. Suddenly, his head flew off, and a lovely fountain of blood blasted out, much of it hitting the ceiling.
“Fuck…” once more, before hearing a malicious laugh.
Suddenly, a bottle of wine began levitating. It floated over to the table where Blue once sat, and then opened and poured itself, revealing a figure that looked very familiar.
“Holy Feral Chaos, it’s Sephiroth!” Vincent had to yell as he picked the larger shards of glass out of his hands.
“Would it kill you to shut up for once?” this being Genesis, and this quote being his second actual line in this story.
“I have…circumstances,” Vincent blurted, then quickly said, “Now leave me alone.”
“Ha! I cloned myself in anticipation of this event!” a wine covered Sephiroth pranced throughout the room, and then set his eyes on the girl in the black coat and pranced towards her.
“I’m killing him,” she said (referring to BM), before Sephiroth had a chance to say anything else.
“Sure, sure, that’s not what I wanted to say,” Sephiroth murmured, then grabbed the girl by her shoulders.
“I wanted to say I love—“
“HEY! I thought I was your girl!” Vincent screamed.
“No, I changed my mind.”
“Excuse me,” the girl broke free and began to choke the helpless and retarded ByakuyaMayuri.
“No, no, please don’t!” BM cried (dare I say, “faggily”?), “I’ll give you spring onions!”
“Who would want those?” Potter smiled, running up to BM and staring at him.
An “I would….” escaped Mr. Valentine, and then he clasped his mouth shut and noticed heads turning to look at him.
“No deal,” and then there was a loud cracking sound as BM’s eyes rolled back and blood dribbled out of his mouth.
Then Dante randomly jumped into the restaurant through the window and shot him several times, making his face and body look like Swiss cheese.
“You didn’t have to do that,” said Vincent.
“Yes we did,” this was Rob, “He was a fag.”
“Say that again and I’ll leave you looking like that guy,” Dante gestured toward BM.
Rob decided that he should risk it. (Feel free to skip this line and read from “He was a…”) After all, he wasn’t Rob.
“He was a fag fag faggity fag fagfagfag. A retard, a bitchy bastard of a prick—“
And then there was more blood.
“You got what you deserved, Rob,” Dante smirked.
*(From this point onwards, everything will be (possibly even more) pointless than before. Feel free to jump over this area to the next * sign…though I don’t recommend you do that.)
“But I’m not Rob…you are,” and the Swiss cheese Rob revealed himself to be Dante, and vice versa.
“Holy shit, how the hell did this happen?” Dante (the once Rob Alrowe) groaned.
Rob (the once Dante) pulled off his skin and revealed a man with brown eyes and slicked back light brown hair. A strand of his hair hung in front of his face, and his smile was quite smug.
“Who the fuckity fuck are you?” this coming from Potter, who was straightening her glasses to make sure that is was just the pills that she’d taken last night that were making her hallucinate.
“I’m the one who will hand your ass over to you in a silver platter.”
The man pulled a sword out of nowhere (or maybe the inattentive characters failed to see where he pulled it out of) and sliced Potter’s ass off. She ran around (no, wait, she couldn’t do that, on account of her not having an ass) She fell to the floor and screamed and bled miserably while the man picked it (“it” being her ass) up and put it on a silver platter. He bent down and left the platter near her.
“What kind of an asshole are you?” Genesis asked the ass-slicer.
“The kind of asshole whose greatest skill is to make shit up in a split second and act as though he planned the shit himself.”
“That’s a remarkable talent you have,” Vincent remarked honestly, and then noticed Sephiroth (whose invisibility spell or potion-you choose-had worn off) staring at him (or her) with wide eyes.
“Don’t look at me, you rat,” Mr. (or is it “Ms.”?) Valentine snarled.
“You’re a douchebag,” spilled out of Sephiroth.
A sarcastic “Thank you,” dripped out from between Vincent’s lips.
“Genesis, glue her butt back on,” groaned the girl in black, whose name you still don’t know.
“Why me? I don’t wanna touch her ass,” he looked at the girl (in black) with a neutral expression on his face, “Come on, Nekhas, why don’t you do it?” and now you know her name, “You could put her back together without even touching her.”
“Let’s not go there,” was Nekhas’ reply.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt your lovely conversation but I just couldn’t help myself,” Vincent said, smiling and interrupting, “How exactly do you do that?”
Nekhas pulled off her hat and revealed jaw length brown hair. She made a face at Vincent and said, “It’s maaaagic.”
“But…there’s no such thing as magic, right?” and this coming from a Final Fantasy character. For shame.
(Ignoring Vincent) “You know what? If you don’t do this—“
“I’ll slice your ass off, too,” finished Ass-Slicer.
Genesis’ face held an expression of mock horror (Note I said “mock”. M-O-C-K.) , “Okay, that’s just not fair. You’ve got to get yourself a different hobby. Something that has to do with slicing…but not asses.”
“Can you slice heads?” Vincent begins.
“Don’t you see? I planned all of this. I brought you all here and got rid of a fag and an ugly guy so that I could slice your asses off.”
“You’re really good at this making stuff up,” remarked Sephiroth, smiling as he said it.
“Why, thank you.”
“Wait, if this wasn’t Rob, then who is?” Genesis noticed a bit too late, his eyes on Swiss cheese Dante.
“I know where he is,” Nekhas pulled her gloves off and revealed a red, bloody design on the back of her left hand. There was a star and a few words in a foreign language that people like you and Vincent would not understand written around the circle. The blood that it been done with had dried, and it was quite messy-looking. She did some kind of weird gesture to Potter’s ass, and it began to float. Slowly, it put itself back where it once belonged – on the unconscious Potter’s backside, looking as though it had never been separated.
“Wow, it really IS magic!” Vincent moaned in a disgusting sounding way.



*
…And that’s when I got sick and tired of writing this bullshit and decided to stop. For now, anyway. I have better things to do than entertain a group of assholes and fucking trouts who eat roadkill.


-----
And just saying, if Seraph shows up, I couldn't find the courage to add the female body parts....
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by HarleyThomas on Wed Jun 01, 2011 12:45 pm

HarleyThomas wrote:
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by kisukeFan_4337 on Wed Jun 01, 2011 12:50 pm

No one asked you to. I think it's fair to say you're the most unpleasant person on this forum, in my opinion.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by Script-Z on Wed Jun 01, 2011 12:53 pm

I would second that, but that isn't really saying much when you consider the rest of the members.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by kisukeFan_4337 on Wed Jun 01, 2011 12:54 pm

I know, but I consider him the most unlikable.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by Script-Z on Wed Jun 01, 2011 1:03 pm

The most unlikable out of a group of unlikable people.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by HarleyThomas on Wed Jun 01, 2011 2:28 pm

Awww, don't be like that, Script. I thought you liked me. You said so yourself.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by Taegan on Wed Jun 01, 2011 2:40 pm

I used to like Script, BB or not. Loki no so much, and definitely not Boobies, but Script I did. Now you suck.


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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by HarleyThomas on Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:16 pm

That's nice and all, but we're not talking about you. We're talking about me.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by Taegan on Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:22 pm

You suck too.

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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by Entranced on Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:25 pm

I thought that for a female the story was very...Crude. But, then again what else is to be expected when hanging around "These People"...I mean...They're dicks. And my opinion that "Females" should be more lady like, it is simply an opinion. Because, we all know that a lot of girls are very Un-lady like, as this example shows.

And when I say "They're dicks" I mean it in the most literal way possible. Oh and some of them are GIANT dicks. Yeah...Giant fucking dicks. That "Fucking" I put in there, you can take however you want.

Edit: So Taegan, is it safe to say, you just don't like people in general? Or in other words, you're a hater?

To which I say, Haters Gonna Hate.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by Taegan on Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:32 pm

Talk about hasty generalizations. Are you retarded? Don't be angry just 'cause I don't like you, I'm not that important, really.

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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by HarleyThomas on Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:36 pm

Taegan wrote:I'm not that important, really.

Understatement.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by Entranced on Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:37 pm

Do you really think I would waste the time, caring about your shitty opinions? No I don't think so. In other words, Lolno.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by Taegan on Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:39 pm

So you don't want to waste time caring because you prefer wasting it saying you don't care over and over again. That's interesting.

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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by Seraph on Wed Jun 01, 2011 5:08 pm

Harley is who he is.

Entranced is easily the most unpleasant person here.
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

Post by Entranced on Wed Jun 01, 2011 5:21 pm

Well at least I fuckin' win something?
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Re: Something I wrote on account of me being bored

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